Date a Woman Who Challenges You

You’ll recognize javascript:void(0)her easily. She’s the one with a sharp mind of her own and tendency to speak what’s on it. She’s the one who has brought a classic novel with her to read in the doctor’s office waiting room so she isn’t stuck with People magazine. Her clothes are sensible most of the time and her style isn’t always based on fads. You’ll find her at a retail store thanking the staff because she knows what a difficult and thankless job they likely have, or at the DMV with her paperwork already filled out because she hates waiting almost as much as she hates people that expect everything to be done for them.

Date her because she’s great to chat with. She’ll talk circles around you on the topics she’s knowledgeable about, she’ll ask good questions learning about the topics she isn’t. Pursue a relationship with her because her opinion will mean something to you. You’ll bitch about your job in the evening and you’ll have a plan of attack by morning. She’ll call you out when you’ve done something stupid. She’ll side against you if she thinks you are wrong. You’ll be taken aback, but she’ll force you to rethink, reevaluate and see things from another point of view.

Go out to dinner with a woman who can make a reasoned argument. Disagree with her and learn something. Enjoy sharing a meal with a woman who is as pleased to be proven right as to be proven wrong, because she has either taught or learned.

She’ll have her unreasonable moments, as do we all. She will probably even acknowledge she’s unreasonable, maybe even in the middle of being so. Whether she apologizes or not, you’ll know she’s better than that. You’ll find you have no need to hear “sorry” because you’ll appreciate everything you know of her more knowing the emotional turbulence she handles, daily.

Date a woman who challenges you and you’ll grow as a person. You’ll respect yourself more when you’re around her. You’ll be annoyed a surprising amount of the time, sure, but that will pale by comparison with the time you spend wondering what she sees in you (though you know she has reasons that are well thought out and unwavering).

Spend all the time you can with her so that when you grow apart you’ll know you spent your time wisely.

If that doesn’t happen, marry her if she’ll have you. Spend the rest of your life being simultaneously infuriated and awed by a woman who will hold you down and lift you up in the most important ways